Beware of Johnny Green Wave!!! He has escaped from his bondage in the St. Edwards dungeon next to the small gym, and is wreaking havoc on the school. In his 83-year history, Mr. Green Wave has stood as a model of integrity and strength, until October 23, 2024. Mr. Green Wave devoured all tech week leftovers, which had grown a mysterious fungus causing hallucinations and unchecked rage. Unfortunately for everyone, this rage has made Mr. Green Wave unapproachable, as his initial instinct is violence; recently no one has left his vicinity unharmed. Despite only being eight days ago, Johnny Green Wave has left an immense impact on the lives of our beloved St. Edward family.
It was the morning of the 23rd, and Lucas Buckardt sat peacefully in third hour publications. “We had just been discussing Beowulf when the announcement came on. The entire class actually burst out in laughter at how ridiculous the warning sounded.” Over the speaker, Ms. Woj mandated that all classrooms were to be locked and no one could leave for any reason, because Johnny Green Wave placed a paper towel dispenser in the boy’s bathroom toilet. Lucas recalls “I always thought Johnny was like Santa Claus; you want to believe he’s real, but it just isn’t feasible. But I’ll never forget seeing him storm past the classroom window.” The class was locked in the classroom, scared, confused, and doubtful when the announcements beeped again. “Mr. Green Wave has been detained; you may proceed as before.” Immediately every single student flocked to the boys’ bathrooms, desperate to see what had really happened. Despite the no-phone rule, countless students captured a photo of the shocking events to proceed.
Upon arriving at the bathroom, students were shocked to see Johnny Green Wave stuffing toilet paper in the toilets. It wasn’t very long before every toilet was clogged. Fortunately for the school, the police were already called to remove Mr. Green Wave from the building, but since the initial incident, the beloved mascot had grown even angrier and more violent than before. Mr. Green Wave was involved in numerous physical altercations before he disappeared. Despite his disappearance, strange things continue to happen around the school. Mari Hernandez reported her water bottle vanished from its resting place outside of the theater during the diocesan recording session. There is also a rumor that Mr. Driscoll is out because of a knee surgery, but all signs point to Mr. Green Wave.
As the investigation unfolds, all students and staff are warned to avoid being alone and keep a cautious eye throughout the day. Suspicions have arisen of students secretly working with Mr. Green Wave, but no solid evidence has been provided. One morning, despite countless days failing to find them, Ashley Valdez was spotted with the new spider donut from Dunkin’, leading many to assume Mr. Green Wave may have given it to her. Conspiracies aside, Mr. Green Wave is on the loose in St. Edwards, and all students should continue to proceed with caution. His mugshot is attached below for further reference:
This article is part of a Halloween series and is not intended to be taken seriously.
